MSG Me. I'm ready and willing.
Three Things I Know So Far
by Aaron
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The length of my list of the things I know about women is appropriately short and therefore laughable, but I think these things are quasiprofound. Plus, the experiences that yielded them almost caused my head to implode so I feel it's necessary to make some good of them. 1) A new girl means you start from scratch Unless you only deal with mindless drones who are all but identical, you have to consider yourself almost completely ignorant of how to handle women. This of course exludes any useful knowledge you've gleaned from sex or fight prevention or whatever. Where a lot of guys go wrong is in thinking "Well, my last girlfriend did this, so..." That's when you're fucked! Every girl is a new project who can be illogical in ways completely different from the other girls you've known. 2) Sometimes you have to understand that you will not understand, and are therefore wrong Sorry, this one's a bitch, but I've resolved a lot of arguments with it. Sometimes they can explain as clearly and logically as possible and it absolutely doesn't make sense, because it's physically impossible for us to comprehend them. So many of the key experiences necessary to think like a crazy, crazy girl are completely foreign to boys. So all you have to do is simply back down a mere notch and POW! argument over. It fucking works, I promise. 3) You can't smoke weed every day unless your girlfriend does the same I know this isn't as far-reaching as the other two and the range of people affected by it is small, but it's still noteworthy. And for the record, smartass, this one I picked up primarily through observation rather than experience. I can hear your jokes stalling in your throat/brain. Ass. Anyway, people who don't do it often or daily or at all blame any and every problem of those who do on their smoking habit. It seems fucking ludicrous from the pothead's side but it's a handy scapegoat for a pissed off significant other. There ya go, do what you can with what I've given you. I'll add items to this on the off chance I learn more about females. Til then, happy hunting. |
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